Ah yes, the bedroom, where you really learn the inner depths of how kinky and weird a person really is…as well as what men really want in bed.

Regardless of whether the dude you’re dating is into his red room of pain…

…or he’d rather softly caress you in a bed covered in rose petals…

…I’m going to reveal some secrets about what men really want in bed that will knock your socks off…


P.S. One thing men love about sex doesn’t actually happen in the bedroom at all. It happens on your phone. Get actual sexy texts you can send TODAY to ignite a fire in your man. 

What Men Really Want in Bed…and How to Give it To Them

When you read about what men really want in bed, some things you will already know…and some things may come as a complete shock to you. Whatever your reaction, know that, with this newfound knowledge, you can give your guy exactly what he wants…even if he’s never told you directly.

1. He Wants Sex a LOT


Most men want sex more than you do. That may not come as much of a surprise to most of you.

In a Men’s Health survey of  6,700 men and women, researchers found that one-third of the women were having sex at least two or three times a week, and, round of applause, 71% said they were either “thrilled” or “satisfied” with their sex lives.

Men, however, were getting busy at exactly the same rate as women, but only 51% were thrilled or satisfied. Why weren’t they as happy? It might be because they didn’t feel good about their bodies in the bedroom, but it may also be because they were not getting as much sex as they wanted.

Don’t fault us! Fault biology.

If you want to keep your man interested, try increasing how much sex you have. I promise you: it won’t be a hardship for you because you’ll totally enjoy physically and emotionally engaging with this guy you’re into.

2. He Wants Affection in Bed

You might think that wanting to cuddle and be close to your partner is a female-only thing, but that’s just a stereotype. Men, just like you, want to kiss, cuddle, and say sweet things during sex.

In fact, science shows that both men and women find that romantic and affectionate behaviors are the most appealing to partners.

I like to cuddle. I’ll admit it. And although a man may never write it in his Tinder profile, your guy probably loves to cuddle too.

So don’t assume that you’re putting him off by being affectionate in the bedroom. Bask in that afterglow with him and let that time emotionally cement you two together.

3. He Wants Committed Sex


Love and sex don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

Before you start spreading the rumor that all men just want casual sex, let me share some research with you. In the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, researchers found that men enjoyed sex more when they were in a relationship.

Men who have sex with a relationship partner are more aroused, have greater orgasms, and have fewer issues…ahem…getting it up than men who have casual sexual encounters.

So if you’re in the early stages of dating, don’t feel like if you have sex with a man, he won’t commit to you. That might be all the more appeal to draw him to you: sex with someone that he can fall for and build a relationship with!

4. He Wants to Cut to the Chase

He’s probably not into wining and dining you. He wants action!

Men tend to move faster than women when it comes to dancing around having sex.

You’ve probably experienced this firsthand: you’re dating someone who you think you’d like to have sex with, but you’re trying to slow things down:

You: “So let’s light the candles, turn the music on, maybe take a bubble bath together…then we can make slow lurrrve.”

On the other hand, the guy is ready to get to the good stuff:

Man: “Yeah…or we skip all of that and just have sex!

Over the years, I have realized that women tend to focus on the romantic, emotional side of sex, whereas men just want to make it happen.

So what can you do about what men really want in bed when it comes to rushing the process? Try to find a balance. Give him the reassurance of knowing that you’re a sure thing…but let him know you’re worth waiting for. That will only make his anticipation build, and when you finally do have sex, it will be mind-blowing!

5. He Wants to Know What You Want

Don’t be shy about telling him what you like!

Sadly, we have been programmed to be embarrassed to talk about sex, about the things we want or don’t want in the bedroom. A ton of people are shy about expressing what they want sexually, but I encourage you to find your voice because that’s when sex gets truly amazing.

Don’t be shy in telling him what turns you on, what you like, what you want. And on the same token, be inquisitive to find out what arouses him. What does he really want in bed? How can you increase his pleasure?

Knowing what one another wants sexually makes for beautiful emotional and physical intimacy. When you’re with someone that you trust enough to open up about what you want, you create a deep emotional connection.

If you’re not comfortable having a sitdown conversation about this, just tell him you like what he’s doing in the moment. If you want him to do something differently, tell him or direct him to something you prefer more.

6. He Wants You to Have an Orgasm

What’s sexy to him? Turning you on!

This man wants you to have an orgasm, trust me. Contrary to popular belief, most men aren’t into sex just for their own pleasure. Helping a woman orgasm can be arousing on its own and can make him feel like a burly man’s man.

My advice? Let him! Help him help you. Part of that starts with you communicating your wants. But as you become more comfortable around your partner, you should find it easier to enjoy sex more and more, and hopefully orgasm over and over.

Let him know when you do have an orgasm (or 10!). Not every man can tell when a woman has an orgasm, so he may need a little reassurance that he did well. Trust me: he’ll light up with pride when you tell him.


Now that you know more about what men really want in bed, tell our Sexy Confidence community what you’re going to try next! We’re all friends here. Leave a comment below.

I hope that this sexy topic helps you give your man what he wants and that it helps you strengthen your connection.

Build that anticipation (and make him wait just a little bit) by sending him sexy texts before you do the deed.


Topics #affection #love #men #sex #women